Yesterday was the best day of my life.
I received the phone call at 4:42 pm.
I didn’t breathe for at least thirty seconds and then I got nauseous. And then I called every. Single. Person. I knew.
“BITCH, I’M GONNA BE A STAR!”
I’ve never been an actress. Actress comes second on my resume, all of my writing credits are listed first. I screamed at Greg Daniels for fifteen minutes on my third day on The Office after I discovered the acting clause in my contract. I was legally obligated to appear on this show, regardless of how I felt about it. I was freaking the fuck out, and he calmed me down and reminded me that I was the youngest person on the staff and I shouldn’t be doing that kind of stuff.
Two weeks later I was slapping Steve Carell. Still my second favorite Office moment, after this one:
It’s Messy has been one of the best experiences of my entire life. I started the pilot in the middle of the night after a late call, and I didn’t stop writing for three days. I submitted it, not expecting it to get a pilot order. And now it’s a series. It’s a fucking series, and I can’t believe it. Now I’m a writer, actress, author, series creator, executive producer, and a whole other smorgasbord of titles.
I write this letter from the annex at NBC Studios Burbank, where, in a few minutes, Kelly Kapoor’s office will be retired, along with my call number before tonight’s finale (9:00! Written and Directed by Vaughn Zieglar! Special Mystery Guest!). And I thank you all, with tears in my eyes, for allowing me to get to this point. Greg and the entire cast of The Office, Vaughn Zieglar (because if I didn’t give him his own thank you he’d kidnap my cat), the Bridesmaids cast for putting my name out there and being the stupidest, yet most brilliant group of women I’ve ever come across, anyone I’ve ever worked with who put up with my nonsense, The Hilary Winston cast for distracting me (especially you, Ry), the It’s Messy cast (because you couldn’t have done it without me), my favorite friends, my other friends, my mom, my dad, my brother and his family, Thomas J. Thacker, and my wonderful, amazing, perfect, flawless fans, who really are the ones that made this happen. I love each and every one of you.
I’ll let Busy Philipps and Brian Van Holt explain how I feel in gif form:
From the annex to the gynocologist’s office,
Sirisha.
(Part of this was totally the Oscar speech I didn’t get to give. Sorry, guys.)
(Does anyone know Colin Firth’s phone number? I’ve got a role I want him to read for…)
